It's difficult to pick one invention that stands out as the greatest of all time. There are so many manmade wonders that enrich our lives every day and make us question how we ever lived without them. For example: the wheel, the flushable toilet, the bikini, beer, eyeglasses, Velcro and the atomic bomb.
The printing press is generally considered to be humankind's greatest invention, but I think it has done almost as much to hinder our lives as it has to help us. It's not like plastic storage containers, for example, which have brought society nothing but positive outcomes.
Remember back in the old days, when you had to go to grocery stores and beg them for flimsy cardboard boxes whenever you needed to move your belongings? You never knew when the bottom would fall out of those boxes, and it was impossible to get a good grip on them. But plastic storage containers are lightweight, sturdy and stackable, with easy-to-grip handles on the sides. They are the second greatest invention of all time.
The greatest invention of all time is the computer keyboard command "CONTROL + Z." It is the magic key combination that allows you to undo your previous action. Say, for example, you are composing your thesis and accidentally delete all the text. All you have to do is simultaneously press the CONTROL key and the letter Z to restore it.
The most impressive thing about CONTROL + Z is that it is still in its infancy. There are countless other real-life uses for this technology that haven't been perfected yet. We're only a few years away from being able to take back the stupid things we say out loud with CONTROL + Z.
When that spurned ex-lover of yours cries out, "I thought you said you loved me," you'll soon be able to say, "Control Z, bitch," and wipe the slate clean.
Think of all the abortions that will be prevented when people have the option to simply "undo" any sexual intercourse that results in an unwanted pregnancy. Finally, liberals and conservatives will have a plan for reproductive freedom they can agree on.
Best of all, we can spend the whole weekend CONTROL + Z-ing our best orgasms, just so we can CONTROL + Y them.
Paul Lundgren is a newspaper columnist and a very nice man. His e-mail address is paul [at] geekprom.com.
