It's amazing how many people have jobs. Even students and elderly people are often engaged in at least part-time employment. This is surprising to me because it seems like there shouldn't be that much to do.
With all the work that's happened over the past few thousand years, we should be finished by now. There are plenty of houses and parks and roads and gardens and books and theaters all around us. Can't we just enjoy them?
Even with all the work currently going on, many people want more to do. Apparently there are still not enough jobs to go around, so politicians often work to develop incentives for companies to "create jobs."
Politicians often disagree about the best ways to create jobs, but they all agree that more jobs are needed. I keep hoping a politician will come along with a plan to eliminate the need for people to work so much.
There always seems to be a lot of jobs advertised in the classified section of the daily newspaper. Most of the openings are in the educational, medical and sales fields, but there are always a handful of openings for cab drivers and dish washers. There are also ads for plasma donors, as if that's a career choice.
The Duluth News Tribune actually calls its classified section a "Classified Mall," which never fails to crack me up. It's not just a list of advertisements, oh no. It's a hip place for the kids to hang out in 1985, apparently.
My favorite employment ads are the ones that do not disclose who the employer is. Instead of sending a resume directly to a business, the job seeker is supposed to send it to the newspaper, where it will apparently be forwarded. This seems like a scam to me.
I've always wanted to make my own arrangement with the newspaper and then send nameless resumes out. "If these skills sound like a good match for your company, please mail an offer letter to Box 147," my cover letter would note. "No phone calls, please."
I am also amused by the jobs that promise, in bold print, often followed by an exclamation point, that the compensation is tragically lousy. "Pays $8 per hour!" the ads proudly proclaim. Well gosh, that's almost half of an honest wage! Where do I apply?
Paul Lundgren is a newspaper columnist and a very nice man. His favorite qualification bullet-point for resumes is: "Two good hands and a strong back." His e-mail address is paul [at] geekprom.com.
